Around 40 million Americans routinely use online dating sites, and finding someone online has long ago lost any stigma attached to it. Today, there are dozens of hook up websites online, with the biggest (eHarmony) having about 20 million members. Staying safe while dating online is mostly common sense, although it’s often all too easy to get carried away and do or say something out of character.
Staying safe while looking for love online starts with finding a dating site you are comfortable with. Most larger sites have good security precautions, while some of the smaller ones may not be run as efficiently and also focus on specific interests or groups, such as being Jewish, Christian or living in the country. You should also decide what you want before joining; are you looking for a serious long term relationship, to get married or just to have some fun?
Although you want to let a potential match know about your interests, be careful not to include too much personal information in your profile or when you interact. Don’t give out your phone number, address, place of employment or social security number. You may want to give your first name out but not your last name, and share the city you live in but not your street or neighborhood. And most sites allow you to post a photo of yourself; most dating site users expect that, although you’ll have to decide if that’s something you are comfortable with.
Using a fake ‘sob story’ to get the support and trust of dating site users may be unscrupulous, but unfortunately, it is common. So be wary if someone you seem to connect with makes you feel sorry for them, although of course, it could be genuine too. And checking out any potential match is a good idea, certainly, before you meet someone, and if you feel you’re getting close to someone. Just about everybody has a social media profile, and you can also look at company employee lists, blogs, LinkedIn profile and whatever else comes up under a name search.
Take it slowly when connecting with others using an online dating site; no need to add them as a Facebook friend just because you’re getting on well. Be careful about sexting too, as you want to make sure you trust that person enough to not post those conversations in a public place or use them against you in some way. And of course, most of us know that when it comes to meeting someone in person, always choose a public place and tell someone where you are going.
Dating is difficult because no one teaches it. You develop this skill by reading about it, watching it in movies and TV series, or by hearing about it from friends. You have to determine yourself how to find the best partner. Finding the right person with whom you can develop a long term relationship remains difficult even after online dating websites. The dating process has become easier after the introduction of online dating apps. Now you can swipe right or left to date or reject a person. This convenience comes with its own risks but now it is the most preferred way to find a dating partner.
There are dozens of different types of dating apps, each promising to find you the best and most suitable partner. The popularity of dating apps means there are lots of them. Each app tries to differentiate itself by promising something different or extra. Some apps cater to a niche category. For example, there is affair dating apps that connect individuals looking only for an affair. Those looking for long term relationship and even marriage visit a marriage dating app.
These phone-based services provide the convenience that was missing in the earlier dating services. The apps offer a quick process even though this dating option means making some of your details public. The advantage is you get immediate results and lots of choices. You do not have to commit to dating immediately. You can seek more information from the person you like. After several chat sessions, you get an idea about the other person’s compatibility with your views on certain matters. It lets you decide if you can fix a personal meeting with that person.
Once you have decided to meet a person, you just fix the time and place to meet that person. This process lets you screen out people who are not on the same wavelength as you. While you still cannot be 100% sure about compatibility with a person, it lets you meet a person who seems just the one you have been looking for. You need a personal face to face meetings to see how it goes. A large number of people now find a marriage partner through these apps. It has become the preferred dating platform for most individuals.
The advantage of dating apps is that you do not have to expose all your details to everyone. You do not lose face for being rejected. It lets you find the ideal partner who has similar views or at least understands you and will prove the right partner. Now discovering the right partner is not hard even for people who face social isolation.
You must exercise caution when dating online. Verify personal information submitted by the other person and never exchange money for any sob or distress story. Do not meet at secluded places during the first meetings. Keep someone informed when going to meet a dating partner.
Whether you are into online dating or offline, relationship doubts are not uncommon. It is possible that you start feeling that the person you are spending time with is not the best person for you. Want to know if you are dating an unsuitable guy? Read on to know more.
You are not happy
The first consideration is whether you are happy or not in the relationship. Someone who is with the right person enjoys the relationship and feels good about it for the most part. While it is okay to argue occasionally and have your down phases, people who are with the right partner generally feel happy with their relationship. If you find that you are unhappy for the most part, this is a clear sign that he is not the right one for you.
Trust your instincts
There is a voice inside all of us, which guides us about what is right and what is wrong for us. Listen to that voice and trust it. Sometimes our instincts indicate clearly that we are not dating the right person. If this is happening to you, do not ignore the voice. Allow it to guide you and decide what you want.
He treats you bad
If he is always finding faults with you and criticizes your every word and action, he is clearly someone whom you should avoid. While it is okay to offer some constructive criticism at times, it should be done with due consideration for the other person’s feelings. If you feel you’ve been putting up with his jibes and taunts for too long, it is definitely time to let go.
You are uncomfortable with him
If you are wearing a mask at all times to please your partner, you might be dating the wrong guy. Check to see if you feel comfortable and at ease with him. If you cannot be yourself and have to put on an act at all times, it is time to get out of the relationship. Your partner should love and accept you as you are. Do you feel like he is trying to mold you into a different person altogether? If yes, it is time to let go of him.
No respect for your family
He does not care about your family and is openly disrespectful about them. If you are with such a person, it is time to rethink about the relationship.
It is not so difficult to know if you are dating the wrong guy. Look out for these signs and you will know if your relationship is right for you.
Years ago, there was a saying that pretty much is what we hope is a healthy starting point for us at TheChangeYouWantToSee.com. It was attributed to the late Mahatma Gandhi, who has often been famously quoted as saying, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Now, this is a very, very fine quote and ideal! I don’t think anyone would disagree! But, since I want to get this blog started on the right foot, I feel it’s my duty to let you down (hopefully only a little) by letting you know that the great Mahatma did not say those exact words (even though it certainly does sound like something he could have, or might have said!). Of course, as I read in the NY Times, the article I read that helped me clarify this point mentioned that this does make for a great bumper sticker or saying on some other tchotchke!
The article in the Times (seen here: nytimes.com/2011/08/30/opinion/falser-words-were-never-spoken.html) as well as Wiki Answers here, which cites a work published by Gandhi in 1913 (answers.com/Q/When_did_Gandhi_say_Be_the_change_you_want_to_see_in_the_world#ixzz26nLgtJ43), the quote may have originated from this passage:
“We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.”
By the way, since we are talking about the great Mahatma, I may as well clarify something else about him. “Mahatma” wasn’t his name. It’s a reverent title given to a great sage or even a holy person. Almost like saying “Father Smith” or “Reverend Smith,” or, in a Christian context, “Christ Jesus” (since His name wasn’t “Jesus Christ.”)
But, it’s understandable that people might be confused when thinking that Gandhi’s actual name was “Mahatma Gandhi” since his given name could possibly be confused with the title. He given name was Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.
No matter what his name was, or that the saying so famously attributed to him is not completely what we thought, the fact remains that it’s a really good thought. So, let’s go with that, ok? And let’s go ahead and BE THAT CHANGE!